Blog Block!

Here it is only four days in to this lovely endeavor and already, I can't seem to reach into my creative side to pull a witty blog out of my hat for nothing. While I was waking up at 5am, I had several moments of creativity - or should I say my cloudy dreams wrestling with reality. If it were not for that single, solitary bean and the prospects of a morning conversation with Juan Valdez, I would perhaps still be laying there. But alas, here I am, babbling on with nothing but mere useless words with no intent to inspire even the lowliest creatures.

Lists! Lists! Lists! Is that not what one does when they are in this state of utter confusion? So my morning routine is: roll out of bed, get my daughters lunch ready, press the ever loving button of joy that sits on my counter and exudes liquid caffeine and hit all my vast forms of electronic communication. Between e-mail, twitter, facebook and now this blog, I think I have reached a new level of "time-sucked-away-by-the-computer"! So, Juan, what do you say we get this ball rolling and put together what it is we should to do today? First off on that list, the morning walk. I must say, I thought it was going to be super-hard getting back into the swing of things, but walking with my husband and the dog has proved to make those walks far more enjoyable. Yesterday, I did accomplish finding clarity in my over-sized pantry, which in turn allowed me to produce - yep you got it - another list (grocery) of the things I don't have and the things that were lurking in the deep, dark, pantry abyss, all screaming to be released to the nearest trash receptacle. I labeled the shelves and organized all the oddities that most people would not find, nor wonder what to do with, nor care about in their pantry, and was still able to get most of my other chores done, bake cookies and make dinner. So in my eyes I will pat myself on the back and say "Well done my faithful blogger, well done"!

Today I will be making white chocolate bread, a yummy treat that my dear sister friend passed over and quickly found "star" status on - yep, you guessed it - the list of "will you make this". And no worries, as this WILL be going in the cookbook! You know, I find it kind of funny that one minute I am at a loss for words and then I scroll my eyes up and Bam! there you go, the block I was so worried about turned out to not be just a moment of wasted cyberspace after all.

Maybe I need to discuss my morning "lists" with Juan on a regular basis - I'm just saying...

Finding your inner Zen

Yesterday I had the amazing pleasure (insert sarcasm where due) to sit no make that stand for 2 1/2 hours at our delightful local Department of public transportation. My wallet was lost/stolen a few days ago (I know very sad) so I am slowly and might I add a bit inpatient about getting my identity back. While there I kept going over in my head how much time I was wasting just standing instead of keeping myself on track to my cookbook/weight project. Now had I been a far more organized individual I would have had a bag with my binder of recipes and notes and label maker and would have made much better use of my time. However that is NOT me (oh how I wish it were) My whole life I have struggled with the nagging aspect of turning into a pack rat. My Mother was a pack rat and then I married a pack rat and now have managed to raise not one but two pack rats. How did this happen? (is it embedded in the gene pool) Trust me I ask myself this every morning as I get up and start my routine of picking and purging. To some being a pack rat is just another way of keeping treasures dear to your heart-for others and especially me I find it overwhelming and a train wreck to my thoughts. If my house is in chaos then I am in chaos and as I am spinning out of control I notice that the rest of the family is continuing to co-habitat as if nothing is wrong and with the mere thoughts of "there goes Mom again trying Not to be psycho" Yes you can ask each individual in my family what consumes the most time in my life and they will all probably have some rendition on how much time I take picking and purging.
Well as far as I know today I will not be standing in any God forsaken lines -I will start my walk-I will do my chores-I will have a bit more time (without pressure) to tackle organizing my over sized pantry which in return for all that hard work will bring me that inner sense of Zen that will hopefully produce a good chapter in my cookbook and the will power to keep my body active finding better things to do then napping-wait is napping not a form of finding your inner Zen? I'm just saying!

Accountability

So after tossing all night trying to think how I am actually going to start this whole endeavor of loosing 30 pounds and write a cookbook all in one year.........The word accountability kept popping up in my head like a crazed alter ego of sorts trying to wrestle with my other soul breaking personalities like "Ms. Gut check"-and the ever loving "Diva of Denial. " Is it possible that writing this all down for anyone as well as all my paternal peeps is a form of keeping me on track? Which brings me to that sign I see occasionally when they are building in town on a new highway it says "on track" and "on budget" So is it entirely impossible to spend a year writing a cookbook of all the comforts of your childhood, testing recipes and making them over and over for photo shots AND loose weight? I guess maybe if you were writing a meatless/sugarless/fatless (is that a word?) kind of cookbook. No offence to all those darling chefs out there who claim you can have a life and enjoy good food one string bean at a time. I am a pirate of good food, I am willing to sail seven seas to taste something new. Well I guess that is a bit exaggerated but I will take what my kids have always called "Mom field trips" at any opportunity and I am willing to try anything. ( well mostly food related but you know what I'm saying) So perhaps accountability is just a word that defines how you keep your self on track. Maybe I need to sit down with all of these "personalities" and work on a team plan. I am sure they will all have a part in this. How is a very good question. So as I get ready to push send on this blog I realize the first thing I need to do today is WALK WALK WALK! walking will help clear the brain right? then it's time to put ALL those recipes I have already started out in a pile and sort them, of course sort will probably require a whole other blog. But no worries is that not what the accountability thing is all about? I'm just saying!

Something new

So school starts tomorrow for my youngest, which means it's now my turn to get going. First off the dreaded exercise that we all hate at first but learn to love once we get into routine. I will be starting off slow with just dog walking and my cheap but workable virtual yoga Cd's I picked up from McDonald's about 5 years ago. Then once the exercise is started it's time to get my brain in focus to start that cookbook that I have been working on. (FOREVER) This cookbook will be a dedication to my children with a strong emphasis on their future spouses. I regress a bit. Lets see, well have you ever gotten married to the love of your life and you want desperately to cook him his favorite meals (you know the ones he grew up on that only his Mom or Father can make?) well then you figure a nice chat with the in laws will bring fourth this plethora of culinary wisdom? Not always the case I found out. Now I personally had a lovely relationship with my in laws who would always give me the right recipe when I asked-right meaning sometimes you ask your mother in law for that special recipe and though she writes it down, funny how when you cook it it seems to be just a tad OFF! well over the years this is what I have heard from many friends so I thought I would put a stop to this chain of frustration (if for my kids only) and create ALL my kids favorites with photo demonstrations so that their future spouses will never have to think they can not conquer their loves family secrets in the kitchen. So I guess I should let you know this book has a little more than how to make Roberts favorite Calzones or Johnee's favorite Bento box. I have been cooking since I had an easy bake oven and I find that I am most passionate when I am in the kitchen. I ran a bakery, small catering company and dabled in food styling and have been cooking and baking for my family and friends for 40 plus years. From every childhood friendship too every chance meeting I have gleaned recipes and food knowledge. Now it's time to put it all down in a book while my mind still allows it. This is my first blog and I can't imagine it is of anyones interest but with that said It will be my tool for accountability to keep me on track this year to finish this book.